It is disheartening to be in the middle of a self-care chore just to have someone slap you with a comment that you are vain. If you are meticulous about your skin, hair, or body care, it’s likely that you have been accused at one time or other of being vain. Is a person who takes time to care for themselves actually vain or are others being overly judgmental?
None of us should ever feel guilty for engaging in a bit of vanity. The way our skin looks is a reflection of our whole body’s health. If we keep our skin looking radiant and young, our entire body will be healthier. Skin is our largest organ and it needs to be healthy for it to do the work it is intended for. Being at our optimal weight and muscle tone is also extremely healthy, so paying attention to what kind of shape our bodies are in is not something to be ashamed of at all. Our bodies need us to pay attention to them to keep them at their optimal health levels. Putting on makeup or being selective about what you wear can effect your moods, too. If spending a bit more time choosing what you are going to wear or to makeup your eyes the way you like them makes you feel good, there is nothing wrong with doing so.
When someone attempts to shame you for taking an interest in keeping yourself at optimal health and fitness, the problem might be theirs and not yours. Perhaps that person feels they are justified in their own lack of self care when they call you vain. If vanity is bad, then they don’t need to feel guilty for ignoring the roll around their own waistline or their own blotchy complexion. Perhaps you are just all over better looking than that person and they justify their jealousy by degrading you. Sometimes the insult comes from a person’s religious background that taught them that self-care was prideful and they do not understand that the care necessary to be healthy is truly health consciousness and not self indulgence.
There are a lot of reasons people may lash out at you because of your care routines. While it can be their own problems that they are voicing, you might want to take a good look at your own actions before you judge someone else to have issues. Sometimes people are actually justified in calling another person vain, though.
Do you have a habit of making people wait for you while you primp? If you do so, you can count on being seen as vain, and rightly so. Your self care routines should not put others out of their way. If you continually find people waiting around for you while you are glued to a mirror putting on makeup or tussling your hair, you are at a point that you have become rude and self indulgent. You need to change your care rituals so that they do not cut into the time of others.
Are you so hyper about the way you look that you can’t run into a local shop to do a quick errand without it taking you time to dress up or do your makeup? It is time for you to get over it if you are that worried about your appearance. Even if you are afraid you’ll run into Mr. Right and won’t have your makeup foundation on, rest assured, Mr. Right will see you without it at some time or another eventually. If he can’t handle it now, he won’t handle it well later either. If he can’t, he’s not as right as you might want to think he is. You may need to start putting some thought into the fact that no matter how good you look, sooner or later the people you meet are going to want to know something deeper about you that how you look. Are you spending so much time on your looks that there is nothing deeper to look at? If you have become so obsessed with the way you look that you lack time for other aspects of life, you may have self worth issues that you need to stop and take a considerate look into. Even the most famous models have time for a life beyond makeup and waistline control.
The most important indicator of too much vanity is how you see other people. Do you think of yourself as better than someone else because you have a luscious thick head of hair and theirs is thin or stringy? Do you see the person with a little bit of flab around their waist as not quite up to your level? If that is the case, you are not just vain, you are conceited and narcissistic. If you find yourself wondering what the gorgeous hunk at the next table sees in the woman he is with just because she is not as physically attractive as you, you might need to take a reality check on the kind of person you are inside once in awhile, too.
It might be fun to be young and strikingly beautiful. Sooner or later those good looks are going to fade, and when they do, what will be left that people will look up to when they see and talk to you? Even before your looks fade, people are going to get bored with you if you don’t have something more than a glowing face to contribute to a get together. Looking at your loveliness is probably not everyone else’s goal for an evening out.
When considering how right and wrong your personal vanity is, it is important that you can strike a healthy balance. You want to take enough time with yourself to be healthy and to have some self esteem. You do not want to spend so much time that others start to become impatient with waiting for you or bored with your lack of other interests. You do not want to become so self-absorbed that you start thinking that looks equal personal value.
The next time someone calls you vain, take a quick step back from the mirror and ask them why they think so. You might find the answer much more illuminating than the mirror ever could be. If you are the one who is in the mind that others are too vain, you might want to take a look at your own health and beauty regime. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to pay attention to your health and appearance. It might even give you a new and exciting perspective on life to do so. It doesn’t take a whole lifetime in a mirror to achieve great, healthy looks.
©2010 Sally Taylor
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